Advices for couples seeking a threesome

You’re a couple and you’re looking to have a threesome. You’re mainly looking at professionals, escorts, to fulfill your needs because there is no potential attachment and the rules are clear. Well, I have a few advices for you, whether you’re a man and a woman, two women or two men.

The sex work professional

First, when it comes to choosing a companion, the best advice is: take your time. Especially if you’ve never hired before. Follow your guts when you have certain feelings about someone. Try to understand what your guts are telling you, they're not always full of shit, and then discuss it with the companion you're talking to. If you've already went through this process, remember the lessons learned on previous forays, and apply them here.

Some of the things you might want to take into considerations concerning any given companion:

• Is s/he sexy to both partners?
• What are her/his rules considering couples?
• Does s/he have any advices for you?
• What do the reviews written about her/him say?

When contacting the companion, if you’re in a same sex relationship you should take turn answering emails and communicating. One should never be less involved than the other, because that’s what will happen during the threesome. In the case of an heterosexual couple, the woman should take the lead. It will put the provider at ease, by assuring that the woman is a 100% in. By experience, it’s best to handle things this way. The result will be much better and more satisfying for all three parties.

Preparing for the threesome

It's important to establish rules and/or discuss scenarios with your partner and then discuss them with your chosen companion. You don’t really need rules if you don’t feel like it. However, the most important is to discuss "what ifs" situations. Those might lead to establishing rules.

Example: What if one of you end up having more fun than the other? It's not a bad reflection on the bored partner, it's just that we are all different and react differently in different situations, but it needs to be discussed. If one of you has never been in a non-monogamous relationship, it's important to understand that point.

Sometimes, it helps to come up with goals, even though it’s not really important. There might be individual goals for each partners and some for the couple. A statement, a goal of sort, that you could come up with before undergoing the experiment could be: "We are all equal and all we are looking for is a good time."

Even before contacting a potential companion, as a preparation, before or during sex, it would be a good thing to describe to one another how you imagine things happening sexually with the companion as a erotic scenario to turn each other on. It's easier to correct the aim of the encounter and assess feelings when it's still a fantasy. When you've come up with a few successful scenarios, write them down. Then, when you're confident you've found a good potential companion share them with her/him, explaining that those are what you've been imagining with your partner.

In that sexy scenario phase, it's important for both of you to let yourself go, explore without shame, be yourself so that you each see what it would be like, it can be quite liberating. However, first, you should put each other in a safe space with words and touch. Days after days, as you progress through your scenarios, that preparation might be less and less necessary.

Keep in mind however, that we're all human, one day might not be as good as another. That's okay. Try to understand the factors, but don't be too cerebral about it. Sometimes, letting go of things is better. See if stress is a factor. If one of you gets anxious easily and you see it affecting the outcome of a scenario, than managing anxiety before your date will be primordial. It's especially true if one of you gets really anxious without being too excited about the encounter and the other is really excited.

The threesome

During the date, the companion should understand that s/he might want to go to the bathroom to freshen up a few times as things progress to leave you two alone so you can reconnect, maybe for just a few seconds. You don't need him to be gone to reconnect, either. Just a touch and a look are often enough, but usually they are needed, especially at first.

Finally, don't be ashamed of your pleasure with the companion in the presence of your partner, it's only normal, the companion is a new entity with all the attractiveness of novelty. It doesn't mean you don't love each other.

Have fun and be safe!