Q 10

Why do some men gain so much pleasure from pleasing their partners in bed and other it’s all about them?


Those who are selfish follow the phallocentric view that our society has. It starts in High School. What will guys ask other guys? "Did you do fuck her? Did she give you a blow job?" I mean, it's about gratification. What did you get out of it? From that point on, it's getting satisfaction, not about pleasing. It also depends on the sexual education he got from his parents.

It takes a certain kind of guy to pay attention to a woman. It helps if the his father taught him that women are a great creation, or that you should always pay attention to women, respect them. Or it can be the mother. If the guy has a positive view of women, or better yet, adores them, then he's probably going to pay attention. Especially, if at some point, a girl asked him to go down on him, taught him how to do it... that kind of stuff. Bottom line, before sexuality hits him, he has to have a desire to please a woman already there, or he must be a giving kind of person. If not, it might be possible to change that but... I don't know.

I must say that what I just said can only be applied to Gen X or older. As I've come to understand, Gen Y and especially the younger Millennials have a different view of sexuality, but it might still apply.