Q 31

People say that men are more able to separate sex into something that is just an activity where as women usually assign some kind of emotion to sex.

What is your take on this concept? Just from people I know - I would say that it isn't true - but... what do I know?

A

I think it is generally true that more men can do that than women. However, it's a generalization and as such, we should be very careful how we interpret it.

On one hand, it means that lots of men can't split the two and just as many women do split them, which means that any individual will have its own way of seeing it. On the other hand, this statement assumes that there is a link between the two. It's like linking guns and death. We can use guns to kill, but the guns themselves do not kill.

Weather we link sex with emotions depends on who we are and how we were influenced in our formative years. Mostly society these days links them strongly for women and weakly for men. One is no better than the other.

Sex is an activity and a very pleasant one under the right circumstances. That doesn't mean we need to share deep emotions to partake in it. If somebody wishes to have sex only under such circumstances, that's fine.

The wrongness of the association comes from the fact that most people then automatically put sex in a sacred category. The moment you think sex is sacred you will think that they are wrong ways to participate in sex and wrong ways to talk about it. You automatically start judging people on their acts and their thoughts.

Personally, I need to share some level of intimacy and a positive shared experience with a woman to enjoy sex. That's how I like to engage in the activity. A simple smile can be enough.