Q 62

What is it about anal sex that men like?


That is an excellent question. It's also one that is difficult to answer, mainly because there are so many reasons, but I'll put here those that I think are predominant.

One that comes immediately to mind it’s because it's something that few women want to consent to. The old attraction to what you cannot have, the forbidden fruit.

Another is directly related to the preceding one. If a woman consents to it, then she's giving you more than you'd get with other women. It's the attraction of the privilege. It shows devotion, in a way, or that you’re special in her eyes.

If you push the idea further, it's possession. The man takes possession of the woman by performing an act that is not allowed. It's akin to a power trip.

If you push the idea even further, comes the concept of domination. It's a way to dominate the woman. It's the power trip pushed to its conclusion.

I think there's also the idea of surrender. Because it's considered the last thing a woman would do, then if she says "yes" to you, then she's completely surrendering. Which is just another twist on the preceding ideas, but with a softer edge since it can be done from a positive mindset.

I know novelty can also be a reason. The man has never tried and wants to.

Some men will claim they like it because it’s a tighter sensation. I think that really depends on the women one has experienced. I’ve been with women that have as tight a pussy as any ass and some women who are so relaxed and enjoying themselves during anal that it can feel pretty loose.

Personally, I only enjoy performing anal on a woman when she's enjoying it. I've been paid to do it and I've actually done it more often professionally than personally. My joy in the act is their enjoyment of it and I've rarely seen a woman as taken by sensations as when receiving anal. It tends to be a very intense experience. So, by extension when it happens, I tend to like it a lot.

These days, anal has attained a special status in heterosexual North America. It's talked about a lot and society dictates that women should not want to do it and men should want to perform it with every woman. So, there's a sort of mass hysteria that pushes men to want it and women to refuse it without ever trying to see where it all comes from.

All in all, it’s kind of a pointless debate. You should respect what you desire and what your partner desires. I agree that it’s a fine dance to do. Do you want to please or be pleased? Shouldn’t it be both? It certainly cannot be neither and only one seems to me to be half the pleasure.